I call my ex-girlfriend-but may have said the “L-Word” method very soon

Dear Abe: I recently contacted a woman I have dated for a short period in the 1980s and I have not seen since then. It is around my life. We were both married for one year, and we had girls for one year, and she died 20 years after marriage. She spotted me on a social media site and suggested that I call it “to knee things”, which I did.

This led to an invitation to meet a bite to eat and more conversation, which I accepted with pleasure. We live two hours, and she traveled to her home to meet her. We spent a wonderful day and evening, and while I was leaving, I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, as I planted one on me. I didn’t expect it, but it was great! I felt a school child with crushing. I forgot that such feelings were possible.

We have spent every weekend together since that meeting last month. I have a special place in her heart, even for a long time. My problem: I said the “L-Word” method very early. I needed to correct my fault and explain that it was aimed at representing “care and affection”, instead of being “in a romantic” love “, which, for me, is a continuous and more long process (most of the time).

I told her that I have no expectation to prepare it similarly, and I just wanted to know that I always care about her and her. I know some women (and perhaps men) are trembling in hearing these words very early in a relationship; It may be one of them. Anything else can I do to reduce her fear with our progress? Is there any timeline recommended to admit a proper recognition of a romantic love? Previous previous in Texas

The former former dear: I wish I had mentioned how this woman interacted when the word “love” survived your lips. Did you smile? Disrupt? Do you remain silent? There is no timetable for expressing love. The time to use the word is when one feels it. Sometimes the feeling continues. Sometimes no. From now on, take your signals from them. If what you said makes it uncomfortable, you already know. Let your relationship apply for its own rate and resist the desire to force it.

Dear Abe: I live with a man who admired him a lot. We bought our first house when we were 23 years old. We had two children together and we also raised my sister. We both work and want nothing.

The problem? He is addicted to alcohol. He did not vote loudly or means; He just goes quietly to sleep. From the outside, it looks like the greatest man. But Abe, I am so alone that I was crying sometimes. He is asleep by 2 or 3 pm at the weekend. We hardly go out. We are both 57, all children have moved and we must enjoy. I want to travel, dance and wander. He is happy with drinking in the garage. Helps! – Lonsome out West

Dear Lonsome: Have you talked to him to find out the issues that led him to live in this way? Anywhere in your message, you indicated that you are already married to this man. Life is not a rehearsal of dress, and you have paid your dues. If your dream is dancing and hiking, go there and do that.

Since “Rip Van Winkle” has been removed, it will not be as if you were neglected, and you will not miss. Because you want to travel, and arrange to do this with friends. And since you did not indicate that you are planning to end your relationship, think about attending the Anoun meetings (Anon.org/info) So you can find support and strength to start living in your life the way you want, which he was doing.

Dear Abe, written by Abigil van Burin, also known as Jin Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Call dear Abe in www.dearabby.com Or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069.