“Hello Bright sideand
I am Barbara, 60f. I recently celebrated the 60th birthday of AD with a small family gathering. Nothing big – only close family, good food, some laughter.
For context, I have one son, 32 meters, married to Amy (30SF). They have a daughter together, my 4 -year -old sweet granddaughter Emma. Amy also has twins of a previous relationship, both of whom are 7 years old. Nice children, but not my grandchildren.
So when planning a birthday, I invited my son, Amy, and Emma. I specifically asked not to attend the other two children, because this was just an event for the family circle. I explained this politely as possible and suggested that they be able to visit their grandmother on that day. My son agreed, and Amy nodded her head with tight teeth, but she did not argue.
Party day comes. Everything is beautiful. Then, during the gift part, Amy received me enveloped. I assumed it was a card or maybe some money. But when I opened it, I found many coloring drawings … it is clear that it made her twin.
Graphics showed a family scene – two Amey children, their parents, and their other grandmother, and then scribb one in black in black. Under the overwhelming number? my name. Below: “Happy Birthday”.
Everyone went calm. The entire mood has turned. You were shocked, embarrassed, frankly? Little harm. I felt like a journey of divorced guilt.
Later that night, I decided to need a space. I told my son that I will not contact Amy for a while. I feel treatment. These drawings did not come from children – maybe you did a coloring, but the message? That was Amy.
Children do not think so on their own. This was an aggressive negative trick because she was not hurrying to not treat her children like my biological grandson. I am sorry, but I am not their grandmother. I did not choose to be in their lives. Emma had another man, and this is her story – not mine.
I don’t think it is fair to expect everyone to play the family automatically for children just because their father is not present. I never offended their treatment, but I also do not condemn them with the tenderness of the grandmother. This address comes with a bond, not a marriage certificate.
Now my son rules me. Amy did not say anything, but I know this has not yet ended. Were you wrong to draw a line and exclude her children from my celebration? Have you gone away, and you cut off with her after the challenge of drawing? I really want to hear what others will do in my shoes. “
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