I want to date a man older than my daughter one year

Dear Abe: I am a 50 -year -old mother who is very close to my 20 -year -old daughter, outside the college. I did not return for 12 years, partly because I did not want deviations from paternity and motherhood.

Recently, a young man called me for an unofficial relationship. These are my problems: he is 21 years old. My daughter will feel disgusted, and I could never tell her. Six years ago, he was a student. (Study high school.) Nothing happened appropriate when he was a student. In fact, he had a rude position that I had once met his mother. I know this cannot go anywhere, but I don’t want anything to go anywhere.

At this stage of my life, I would have so far an offer. He lives several hours away until we only see each other from time to time. I try to decide if my hesitation is justified and I must back down, or if I take a very societal example, and I must enjoy some fun but keep this secret from my daughter. Unspecified in California

Dear, incorrect: Put the brakes on this while you can still search for an older person to play with him. Your daughter may be a university student, but she is no longer a child. Secrets like those who are considering getting a way out of the end. Please think about it before jumping to anything that can cause you or your daughter a potential embarrassment.

Dear Abe: My child died unexpectedly, for a long time, completely lost. I cried all the time. I could not stand to be around anyone or leave the house. Over time and advice, I began to appear again, but it is really difficult.

One of the problems is, when I face someone I have not seen for a while, they ask how I am. They continue to say how sorry they were to hear about the death of my son, then they want to tell me about someone who lost. I cannot do this conversation without exploding in crying, and sometimes you cry hysterically. Then the picnic is destroyed, and I must go home again.

How can I make people not do this? I know they are trying to pay attention, but I cannot work if you have to continue to hold this conversation over and over again. – Only outside the grocery

Dear, just: Please accept my sympathy with your precious child’s loss. When people ask how you do, tell them that you “work well under circumstances and do not want to discuss them more.” a period! Change the topic, and if necessary, stay away.

For an unknown reason, when someone lost a member of his family, others feel “comfortable” to be bereaved to find out similar cases. This is not true! When people suffer from a loss, they are only annoyed By goodwill friends who say, “I know exactly what you are going through. I have faced something similar.”

People, when sadness relaxes, the comparisons should be avoided.

Dear Abe, written by Abigil van Burin, also known as Jin Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Call dear Abe in http://www.dearabby.com Or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069.